Svenja

My name is Svenja and I’m a 29 year old artist.

I faced many difficult challenges throughout my life. From an early age of 13 I struggled with eating disorders. There was a lot of shame about being me and my body. I didn’t feel like I had a place in this world I wanted to disappear. There was something wrong with me. I had a difficult childhood, not because my parents didn’t love me, they certainly did and did everything they could to support me. But generational trauma lead to missing out how to take on life in a healthy way. After years of work on my eating habits and weight the root cause of my troubles still remained and I started drinking heavily to numb myself. I couldn’t bear to be me. I made many mistakes I’m not proud of and been through abusive relationships which left me feeling lonely and even more ashamed.

About four years ago I made a cut and left Germany to start over in New Zealand. It was a difficult time. I was alone,new language, foreign country, I went from job to job and tried to build something from nothing. I had hope but unfortunately I couldn’t outrun my past. I was still drinking a lot and some days I couldn’t manage to do anything before my morning drink to soothe the withdrawals. I tried to stop so many times I lost count. Something needed to change at my core. How I saw myself and the world around me. I was very fortunate to meet some amazing people along the way and it took me another few years and the support of my partner, family, friends and colleagues to finally make a change, to do everything I can to be a better person. Striving for the best version of me. I had my last drink over a year ago now and I’m happier than ever. I forgot there was a me that loved life and can see the beauty of it. As if there was a dark cloud hovering over my head and the more I open my heart the more it dissipates.

I’m honored to have this opportunity to share my story and it’s just the beginning of it. I still have a long way to go, every day comes with new challenges and it’s certainly not easy but my mindset and my intentions have changed over the past years. I’m claiming my life back. I learn to be responsible and to take care of myself and I’m so grateful for the people, the love and the opportunities that have come my way. Instead of being ashamed of my past I try to see it as part of me now that needs healing. I can’t change what happened but I can change who I am today and do better as well as supporting others moving forward.