Tag Archive for: Monochrome

Smoking

Egypt documentary photography

Honorable Mention in Photojournalism for ‘Smoking’ at the 2024 Black and White Spider Awards

Three Men

Award Winning Travel Photography

Silver for ‘Three Men’ at the 2024 Australian Prize competition

The Aftermath Print

October 7 war

Silver Award for The Aftermath

Click here to see The Aftermath series from Kibbutz Be’eri

The Aftermath opening event by Juliet Moses

President of the Jewish Council, June 22nd 2024

October 7. I would think that everybody in this room remembers what they were doing when they found out.  I was at home, it was 4.35 pm on that day, and I was sent a message on a WhatsApp group, saying “Israel under massive missile attack” with a map from the red alert app showing all the targets. I quickly got onto social media and the news – I think I first saw a white pick up truck with Hamas gunmen on the back cruising the streets of Sderot being filmed – and realized straight away that this was no ordinary attack. Let’s just pause at that for a moment and contemplate those words – no ordinary attack – their absurdity, their unfairness, and the normalisation of something no other state on earth would be expected to tolerate or show restraint over.

My messages became increasingly frantic. To my family: “I’ve seen images of people slaughtered in the streets. I feel sick.” And 5 minutes later “They’re killing them in bomb shelters. Paraglided in. It’s absolutely gruesome”.

I try to stay off twitter over Shabbat, but at 6.52pm I tweeted the map of the rocket attacks and said “There’ve been infiltrations of terrorists from Gaza into Israel as well. I’ve seen images I wont share of slaughtered people in the streets. This is extremely distressing and means all out war”.

I sat there glued to social media and the TV until late at night, with a feeling a total helplessness that this could all be happening right now and we could be watching it unfold, and there was nothing that I could do. I went to sleep with a feeling of guilt, terror and dread, and woke up to news that some 700 people had been killed. For two weeks after that I felt constantly shaky and sick to the stomach. I know that was nothing unusual.

Why did we feel so shaken to the core?  Why did we, and do we still feel this deep trauma, pain, shock, and grief, as if it is still October 7, as if time has stood still?

It wasn’t just the catastrophic intelligence failure that led to this massive attack, that shook our confidence, some might say our complacency or even arrogance, our belief in Israel’s ability to outsmart its enemies and protect itself, that saw homes being violated and desecrated, in a way that we thought would not happen anymore, and most certainly could not, would not happen in Israel.

It wasn’t just the massive scale of the attack, over 1200 people killed, over 250 taken hostage.

It wasn’t just the indescribable, medieval debauchery, degradation and depravity of the attacks, attacks that no label really does justice to. They were all of and more than a terrorist attack, a pogrom, an invasion, a jew hunt, an act of genocide. How do you describe the barbaric brutality that causes people to just disappear? Only this month, Israeli authorities identified the remains of Dolev Yehoud, a 35-year-old medic from the Nir Oz kibbutz, who it was believed had been taken hostage. Multiple forensic field tests had failed to reveal any DNA. It took 8 months to identify him. His fourth child was born on October 16. His sister, Arbel Yehoud, remains in captivity.

It wasn’t just the hostages who were taken and those who remain in captivity, to be used by Hamas as bargaining chips and sex slaves, and whom the word has allowed to be used as bargaining chips and sex slaves, and has abandoned, and tried their best to forget and actively remove any reminder of and obstruct us from rescuing and vilified us when we do. The Red Cross has not visited them once.

It wasn’t just who participated on that day – so-called civilians, journalists, members of UNRWA.

It wasn’t just the bloodlust, pride and jubilation of those who participated somehow paradoxically coupled with a deadeyed coldblooded mechanical execution – I use that in both senses of the word. The ecstasy of the mob in Gaza as the hunters return with their bounty, the mutilated body of Shani Louk splayed on the back of a truck, spat on and hit with planks, greeted with ecstatic cries of Allah Akbar. The recording of the son who rang his parents with great excitement to announce that he had killed ten Yahoud. The terrorist who shot a father dead in his Kibbutz Be’eri home, and is caught in the house’s security cameras as he walks into the kitchen and grabs a soft drink out of the refrigerator and drinks it, as the two young sons sit there, one saying “Papa is dead. Papa is dead. Why am I still alive?” while the other sits there with one eye gouged out.

It wasn’t just the livestreaming and gopro-ing for the world to see, the granddaughter who discovered her grandmother’s murder when her assailant filmed it on her phone and posted it on her Facebook wall. At least the Nazis – and let’s stop and think about those words too and what it says that we might ever use them – at least the Nazis tried to hide, went to great lengths to hide, the evidence of their crimes. The calculation that Hamas made was that the humiliation, pain, terror and psychological torture their recordings inflicted would be worth it, and outweigh any outrage, any damage to their cause, and you know what? They were right.

They were right, because there are those around the world, including in New Zealand, including academics and politicians, who despite all the evidence, are willing to infantilise, trivialise, justify, defend, and celebrate Hamas and its evildoing. But they were also right because there are those who reject the evidence of their eyes and ears.

By 16 October, I understood that we were already dealing with October 7 denialism. My younger son was at his last Uni lecture for the year on Islam, as it turns out, and was told by a young woman in a hijab that the Nova festival attack was “Zionist propaganda”. Some time later my mother engaged with an anti-Israel protester and was told the footage of that day was all AI. In this war, even when a photo or footage isn’t AI-generated, and a lot have been – we have all seen the 6-fingered Gazan boy – the possibility that it could have been, sows confusion and doubt.

Perhaps worst of all is the denial that rape was used as a tool of war on that day, despite countless eye witness testimonies, and forensic and other evidence that I won’t discuss. Apparently progressive people, who a few years before were happy to destroy a man’s career based on a rumour that he touched a woman’s knee without her consent because #believe all women, suddenly found themselves disbelieving substantial, undeniable, evidence of unspeakably savage rape and sex-based violence, as some of us saw on Wednesday night when we watched Sheryl Sandberg’s powerful documentary Screams before Silence.

Of course, there has been a campaign to erase and appropriate our history for a long time – the Temple is built on top of and its existence denied, we are told Jesus was Palestinian, our sacred historical sites are recognised and protected at the UN as Muslim sites. But denial of our trauma is much more than just delegitimization – though that is bad enough. We must be clear that it is integral to the genocidal strategy that Hamas and the Iranian regime is committed to, and that people around the world, unwittingly or not, are enabling. Denial is an inversion of reality and morality that strives to reshape history in order to demonise victims and rehabilitate the perpetrators.

As the late Armenian historian Professor Richard G. Hovannisian said “Complete annihilation of a people requires the banishment of recollection and suffocation of remembrance. Falsification, deception and half-truths reduce what was to what might have been or perhaps what was not at all.”

In his book “Crusade in Europe” Eisenhower wrote about the liberation of the camps at the end of WW2  “I have never felt able to describe my emotional reactions when I first came face to face with indisputable evidence of Nazi brutality and ruthless disregard of every shred of decency. Up to that time I had known about it only generally or through secondary sources. I am certain, however that I have never at any other time experienced an equal sense of shock. I visited every nook and cranny of the camp because I felt it my duty to be in a position from then on to testify at first hand about these things in case there ever grew up at home the belief or assumption that `the stories of Nazi brutality were just propaganda.” How prescient that was.

This is what Ilan has done, and why it is so crucial. He has chosen to testify. He travelled to Israel, and on February 7, 4 months to the day, became one of few people to get access to Kibbutz Be’eri, to bear witness to the devastation of that darkest of days. He has shown great commitment in doing so, and in putting this exhibition together, at personal cost and sacrifice.  It seems there are many people who just don’t want to know or see.

But we have to keep trying, all of us, to share the truth, because it can make a difference. According to a Palestinian poll released on June 12, published by the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research, 90 percent of Palestinians have not seen videos from that day, which is interesting given they seem very connected to social media and the amount of videos that they seem to record and circulate themselves. Importantly, however, the results also show that those who watched the videos are about fifteen times more likely than those who did not, to believe that Hamas committed atrocities on October 7.

I can think of three main reasons why preserving, recording and communicating the truth is vital.

First, to honour the victims and survivors. As Elie Wisel said: For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and for the living. He has no right to deprive future generations of a past that belongs to our collective memory. To forget would be not only dangerous but offensive; to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.”

Second, as Wiesel alludes to, our collective memory is who we are as a people. The verb Zachor (“remember”) is repeated everywhere in Jewish ceremony and liturgy: under the wedding canopy, during Seder, in the Ten Commandments, during Shabbat, in siddurim. Now, October 7 is forever embedded into our collective memory and will be handed down the generations as part of our story. And we must be better at telling our story to the world.

Third, we must stand for the truth for the sake of truth itself, because open, free and liberal societies, which are the societies that Jews thrive in but are also the best for civilisation itself, depend on the truth. If all we have is feelings, moral relativism, and narratives, we as a society will be destroyed.

So I thank you all for being here today in person or online to bear witness. Remember that, while we are not physically fighting for Israel, we can play a critical part in the battleground for the truth, to combat the falsification, distortion, revision and erasure of history and to be the guardians of our collective memory. And at this moment in time for the Jewish people, I would suggest that it is a moral necessity for us to do so, and to play our part in continuing the most inspiring, unbreakable story of an ancient people who have survived and stayed true to ourselves for over 3000 years against all odds.

Am Yisrael Chai.

Selfie

Self Portrait Photography

“I miss you Ilan,” read the WhatsApp message from mom. I was in Mumbai at the time, having just completed a three-week tour in Rajasthan. The plan was to spend another five weeks in India: “1.4 billion Indians cannot make a mistake.” My return flight to Auckland by Air Malaysia had just been rescheduled. Given their reputation for being shot down by ground-to-air rockets over Ukraine or disappearing into the ocean, I opted to cancel the flight without penalty.
I booked a (costly) one-way ticket to Tel Aviv and planned to enjoy my last week in Mumbai (Bombay is more bombastic). Unfortunately, I started sneezing and coughing, so spent the last four days in my half-star hotel room which had no windows. The upside: it was isolated from the non-stop cacophony of the busy street, “in India, if you don’t honk your horn then you don’t exist.” The downside: no fresh air through the air conditioner, whose filters were never cleaned…
I arrived in Israel exhausted. WHO [World Health Organization] is considering an award for spreading a new variant across three continents in less than 12 hours. I was coughing constantly and struggled to breathe. Desperate, I searched for a local health provider with good reviews and arrived at Rambam Medical Centre at 2:30 am, managing to scratch my black rental against a concrete column (in a totally vacant car park).
The emergency room staff looked in disbelief, “Is this the time to come to emergency?” “I can’t inhale.” I said, trying to be dramatic…
After checking my oxygen saturation levels, I was immediately given an inhalation mask and an IV, which is obviously a priceless opportunity for a selfie! I spent the next 30 hours harassing the wonderful staff, 261 members are still following me on Instagram (I think). The prognosis was “some kind of viral infarction.” Apparently, there are numerous types in the world (the doctors were very keen to know if I had spent any time in Indian caves)…
A permanent black marker covered the scratches beautifully!

Beautiful Amber

Studio Photography North Shore

Memories

Portrait Photography Auckland

Self fulfilling prophecies

Self Portrait

Portrait Photography Auckland

Clearly lost the plot…

𝐊𝐄𝐈𝐑𝐀

Nude Photographer Auckland

Nude Photography North Shore

Nude Photographer Auckland

Natalie

Nude photography Auckland

Filipo

Portrait Photographer Auckland

Andrew Holmes

Portrait Photographer Auckland

Beautiful Brooke

Portrait Photographer Auckland

Beautiful Naomi

Portrait Photography Auckland

Naomi

“Vulnerability is a powerful concept that encompasses the courage to open our hearts and share our deepest dreams and desires with the world. It involves taking risks and putting everything on the line to pursue our aspirations, regardless of the challenges that may come our way. As we grow older, the idea of taking risks may become more daunting, but embracing vulnerability remains essential for personal growth and fulfillment. In today’s fast-paced and ever-changing world, maintaining a clear sense of direction can be quite challenging, especially for those who come from humble beginnings. It often feels like we are trying to move forward from a place of uncertainty, without the luxury of a helping hand. However, it is crucial to recognize that while external help may not always be readily available, our resilience and determination can guide us through life’s uncertainties and enable us to create our own path towards success.

The pursuit of a privileged life might seem elusive, particularly for those who were not born into it. Handouts and easy shortcuts are rarely available, leaving us uncertain about our ability to afford a home or explore the world. Nevertheless, maintaining a positive mindset and unwavering dedication can lead to incredible achievements. It may require daily reminders, but the willingness to embrace vulnerability and strive for our dreams can propel us forward, inching us closer to the life we envision. During the most challenging weeks, when the temptation to give up seems overwhelming, finding strength in being an inspiration to others becomes a driving force. Believing in the power of self-discipline and hard work instills faith and inspiration, motivating us to persevere. Embracing vulnerability during these tough times fosters hope for a better tomorrow, filled with new opportunities and the potential to make a significant difference in our lives and the lives of those around us.”

 

The Art Dealer

Award winning Portrait Photographer Auckland

The Art Dealer

Delighted to win a Gold award for ‘The Art Dealer’ in the Monochrome category at the North Shore National Salon of Photography🥇
It was an early morning and only a couple of hours to spare before my departure flight, but I braved all odds and seized the opportunity to explore the vibrant flea market on the outskirts of Istanbul 💯
Luck was definitely on my side when I stumbled upon this incredible man who just exuded authenticity! With such a charismatic presence and a backdrop to match, I couldn’t resist asking him to look at the camera📸 We clicked instantly and he graciously posed beside his eclectic merchandise. The connection was natural, and the moment was magical. 🔥
The genuine delight on his face when he saw the photo on the back of my camera was priceless. He requested a copy to frame and hang on his wall, proving the profound impact that a simple photograph can have in bridging cultural gaps and capturing the true essence of a moment so beautifully🖼️ I’m so grateful for this experience.

The Frustum

Fine Art Photographer Auckland

The Frustrum

Shelley

Portrait Photography Auckland

Shelley

I used to live in London and was really poor. I had 10 pounds to last me till the end of the week, luckily I’m a pretty resourceful cook and had a topped up Oyster Card.

To make more money I considered being a sugar baby. It seemed easy, and I’d get wined and dined at all the fanciest places that I couldn’t afford. But when it came to meeting someone I couldn’t go through with selling myself like that. The thought of a man in his 50’s when I was in my 20’s creeped me out.

So I decided to explore another avenue – men with a foot fetish. I found someone’s ad on Gumtree, he offered to pay 100 pounds to massage my feet. I didn’t really know what I was in for. We met up and he was visibly turned on looking at my feet. I let him massage them with lotion and up my leg. Then he asked if he could put them in his mouth, I said it would cost more and he obliged. As soon as I felt his wet tongue on my toes I couldn’t stop laughing. Partly because it tickled, and partly because I felt sorry for this sad man putting a stranger’s foot in his mouth. I can’t say I enjoyed it but it was easy money.

He wanted to come back again but I said I was busy. I preferred being poor than subjecting myself to that. At least it makes a good story a decade on.

Zebra Looking Down

Zebra Looking Down

Zebra looking Down © Ilan Wittenberg 2019 Limited Edition of 20 + 2AP Buy Now

Cory

Portrait Photographer Auckland

Cory

Lucy

Nude photographer Auckland

Lucy

My story entails some darkness but is the epitome of light at the end of the tunnel, so I will ask the same of you now as I will at the end, please, keep going.

My life took a huge turn when I was run off the road & left for dead. I was returning home after being surprised with a beautiful set up of candles asking me to the ball, I was on unfamiliar windy country roads & around a blind corner an SUV was well across the centre line & did not react, therefore I was forced to overcompensate to avoid collision & could not regain control over the gravel smeared road. The last thing I remember is realising I was about to die and feeling the immense pull as my car started to flip, my head smashing against the window & road as it did. The SUV did not stop to see if I was alive & instead fled the scene & left me for dead. I suffered severe PTSD and did not receive mental health support. I tried so hard to ensure my suffering was hidden so as not to burden anyone else, I wore a mask for many years & managed to fool even my family who love & care for me unconditionally. I made myself feel so alone in my struggle & suffered far more than I should have.

Though moving forward, my life, future & dreams as I knew them were ripped away from me by chronic conditions & disease. I was an elite athlete in multiple teams & coach to 3 teams, whilst also studying full time at university towards a Bachelor of Health Sport & Human Performance. Exercise was my life. I’ve danced since I was 3 years old up to 6 classes a week among other sports & got into the gym & weightlifting as a teen. It was a significant part of my identity & was also my therapy. I relied on it & all of a sudden my health started to deteriorate drastically. Many times I was rushed to the ER with debilitating pain that nothing wouldn’t subside and I would remain in hospital for days or weeks at a time with tests, scans and surgeries. The time I spent in hospital became so significant that every other aspect of my life started slipping away… I couldn’t train or coach with any of my teams and being the main base & dancer, I was letting my teams down every time. I couldn’t keep up with university or attend a lot of the crucial classes & events. I couldn’t receive the therapy & dopamine that I always had consistently from constant exercise. I started to lose myself completely. When I was diagnosed with a chronic condition. I lost any possibility of fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a pilot. I was then forced to abandon my degree and my beloved teams I had dedicated so much of myself into training with in and coaching. I had organs fused together, ovarian cysts that would rupture, implants including one that shut down my ovaries and put me into menopause at 19 which meant I could never carry my own child. I had 4 diagnoses, and I was told the conditions I am facing have no cure and will be with me for the remainder of my life and I also had my partner at the time abandon our relationship extremely suddenly & unexpectedly. I felt like I lost everything that gave my life & future purpose & I felt all aspects of hope & happiness fade to nothingness. I fell into a depthless dark hole; I fell so fast I couldn’t have the capacity to even consider all of the love & life I still had to live for. I reached rock bottom when I opened my drawer full of strong medications and took handful after handful until my body shut down completely. Sadly, my friend decided she would come round to collect the things she had left at my house weeks before and found me face down on the floor. It took the paramedics hours to revive me, and I agreed to be voluntarily admitted to their mental health institute & remained there for about a week. I saw first-hand the pain I had caused my family. I was forced to witness the suffering I had transferred to all that loved me in an attempt to escape it. How could I have not considered this at the time? I felt like the world and everyone in my life would be better without the burden of me & my lifelong conditions, and my suffering in that moment completely consumed me, it was so immense it seemed like the only option & escape. But it did not eliminate that pain or suffering, it simply transferred it to those I hold so dearly. I made a promise to myself & to everyone that loves me that I would never let myself get back to that place, that I would find a way to navigate my life moving forward despite the hand I had been dealt & that I would strive to find happiness.

Fast forward to today, I have spent the last 6 & a half years digging deep within & shining light on all of the darkness, healing every aspect of myself. I have built a beautiful life for myself & can often manage my conditions so well some people won’t even realise that I suffer with multiple chronic conditions & live in constant pain. I find gratitude every single day even when it gets hard, when you’ve been lost in the darkness you learn to appreciate everything that shines & I never realised that immense suffering also opens your heart space & allows for immense happiness & the capacity to love harder than you could’ve otherwise.

It’s not to say that I haven’t suffered since. I’ve had many ups & downs, to name just one of my heartbreaks, that friend that is the reason I’m still alive, I dedicated my all to afterwards. I had been forced out of everything in my life so I had all day every day to do anything & absolutely everything I could to help her & my family in any way I could. Everyone joked that I was her mum as I became her chauffeur, bank/ATM, I’d cook & clean everything & cater to her every request only to have her use & abuse the immeasurable guilt & generosity I gave and had it all thrown back in my face when I tried to step out & move on from all of this by starting a new life overseas, she had been stealing from me the entire time, broke my phone, laptop & damaged my car & made an immense effort to spread lies & attempt to make as many people hate me as she could. She is now an influencer with a substantial following and as deeply as she hurt me I continued to protect her, kept secrets that would’ve prevented her from getting to the influencer status she so desperately desired and have always only wanted the best for her which shows me how strong I really am & that I never really lost myself completely despite it feeling as such, time & time again.

If you rearrange the letters in depression you get “I pressed on” and if there is one hope I have for humanity it’s that when you find yourself struggling, that no matter what, you find it within yourself to just keep fighting. Your current situation is not your final destination and I promise the best is yet to come. How I got through my suffering has become a survival guide. It’s a journey filled with breakdowns & breakthroughs, finding it within yourself to ask & receive the support we all need & be patient, kind & loving to yourself along the way. I still suffer immensely in many ways, as we all do, but the deeper I dove within & the more I worked toward gaining control of my mind, my reality changed completely & my perspective forever more. I never thought I’d be grateful for the pain I had to endure, but I am not a victim of my trauma. I am the warrior I created from the depths of my suffering & it is my greatest honour to be her. Please, please keep fighting. I promise, one day, you’ll be so thankful that you did.  ❤

Tag Archive for: Monochrome