Toya

“My name is Toya. I was born and raised in Hamilton, in the Waikato, on a farm with my mum and dad.

This story is really about my late mother, Julie , and how she shaped who I am today.

Mum grew up on a farm in Harwera. She was really close to her dad and spent most of her childhood and teenage years around him. Sadly, motor neurone disease runs in our family. It took my mum, her dad, her brother, and her sister. Mum battled it for nearly three years, and it was incredibly hard to watch. She had always been such a strong, independent woman, but slowly she became reliant on everyone for everything.

Growing up, Mum was feisty. She didn’t take any nonsense from anyone. She always spoke her mind, said exactly what she felt, and stuck firmly to her opinions. She was stubborn; once she decided something, good luck changing her mind.

She looked after us the way any mother does, but she was like a super mum. Nothing fazed her.

She was a bit of a rebel in her younger days. Mum got expelled in third form for punching the principal; she was a wild child. But she was strong. She made her own way through life, doing whatever she needed to do to get where she wanted to be.

She had my sister when she was about 19 and raised her as a single mum. Then she met my dad when my sister was around four, and he stepped in and raised her as his own.

The qualities I got from her are clear: my strength, my grit, my natural stubbornness. I get that fighting spirit and that nurturing side straight from Mum.

Being pregnant now has been tough, especially not having her here to share it with. But at the same time, I feel like this is my chance to show her, through how I live and how I’ll raise my child, that she taught me well. She prepared me for this.”